The reason I haven't been posting much...

Hello all my regular and new readers. It's been a while... I am extremely sorry for the lack of posts since this new year started. I have been through a lot recently. I'm writing today to explain myself a bit, as I do feel very guilty for the lack of posts, as I used to post so often and I did really enjoy writing my posts and creating my recipes. So here is why I haven't been posting much lately:

One small reason is to do with the ridiculous amount of stress college is causing me. I'm falling seriously behind with college work, mainly due to the other reason... Which is something very personal and I don't want to go into it too much online but as a result of it I've been on daily medication since August 2013.

I found since taking them I felt a bit better about myself, BUT any will power and motivation I once had towards food, calorie counting, cooking from scratch and exercise vanished completely. It didn't bother me to begin with, but my weight has been creeping up and up and up over the last few months. Even with aims, goals and new years resolutions which I put in place for myself to try and get myself back on track, they didn't seem to help. I'd eat when I was hungry and even when I wasn't hungry, simply because I just fancied eating or felt a craving for something in particular. It wouldn't matter so much if the food I was eating was fruit or vegetables, but it wasn't. It was ALWAYS things like cake, pastries, chocolate, takeaways, etc. etc. And I rarely felt any guilt for eating it... I would just sit and eat as much as I physically could until I felt like I was going to be sick. I could not turn any food down, which before I could. Since September I have gained about 1 stone. My clothes are getting too tight and even though it was upsetting me I still couldn't stop myself.

So as of last week, I made a BIG personal decision (without the aid of my GP, which I probably shouldn't of done... but oh well) - I stopped taking my medication completely. I probably should have cut down the dose before stopping altogether, but I just couldn't wait for that. It was something I felt I had to do, as I can't deal with the thought of being fat again. You can all say what you want about that comment, but that's how I feel. After losing almost 4 stone in weight, selling/donating all of your old, bigger clothes and spending hundreds on a new, smaller wardrobe, the last thing you want to do is gain weight again. So, since coming off the medication I have found I've lost my appetite a little (which has helped slightly), I have gained a bit more will power again, I feel constantly dizzy and nauseous AND I have lost 2.75 lbs in a week. Although I despise feeling dizzy 24/7 (even when I'm sat or led down), starting to lose weight again makes it worth it. I will be seeing my doctor some time this week, but for now I will be staying off of my medication. I will only go back on medication if my GP offers me an alternative. So yeah, now I feel I can work towards my personal weight loss goals (even though I only have 9 days until my birthday party, so I have kind of buggered up that goal, but as long as I can fit in my outfit, it's okay).

Right now, I weigh 9 stone 7.75 lbs and have kept below my calorie allowance on MyFitnessPal so far today. I've also booked a place on a Pole Fitness class at the gym tonight, so I'm feeling a little more positive and back on track. 

So, if you were wondering why I haven't been posting, that is why and I am really sorry. Soon I hope to get my motivation back to start posting more regularly and to start cooking from scratch again so I can start posting recipes again instead of apologies for the lack of posts... Lots of love to all my readers. <3 I hope this post doesn't make any of you think any less of me - it has been really hard for me to post this publicly.

Happy 2014 & my new years resolutions.

Happy new year to all of my lovely readers! I hope 2014 brings you all happiness and good health. :)

Like the beginning of every single year I make a couple of new years resolutions. This year is no different, so here's mine for 2014:

1. Get back on track with my dieting and fitness.

2. Start saving up my money (mainly towards moving out).

Towards the end half of 2013 my weight has slipped up. Between joining college in September and now I have gained about 10-14 lbs in weight (I'm not 100% sure on my weight at the moment, as I haven't really weighed myself the last couple of weeks as I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of myself about it). I'm not 100% sure why I've gained the weight. It's probably a big mix of the following: eating due to stress; comfort eating; being lazy; lack of willpower; losing all motivation; other peoples influences; and just feeling low in general. Lots of things really. I'm not happy with myself about the weight gain, but I am only human, and what's done is done. I am now ready to get back on track and shift these extra, flabby pounds! I'll be weighing myself first thing tomorrow morning (dreading it). I want to start going back to the gym sometime this month too! I just have to work out how to fit it around my college course effectively.

I used to be really good at saving up my money, but over the last year or so I have not been able to control my spending habits so well. I buy things for the sake of it and not because I need it, and this has taken its toll on all of my bank accounts. So now I've decided to start saving up my money properly again with the main goal of eventually moving out with my boyfriend. I'll be doing this by clearing out my things and selling it then putting the money away and also by putting a bit of money away into my savings each month. :)

Once again, happy new year and good luck with any resolutions you've set yourselves!

Sunny Magaluf, June 2013!

Last month (5th June - 13th June), my boyfriend, Jago, and I went to sunny Magaluf together. We booked it only three weeks before we left for the holiday (very last minute for us)! We booked a week, self-catering, in the Mallorca Rocks Hotel. I hadn't read any reviews on it, but out of curiousity, two days before leaving, I decided it'd be a great idea to read the reviews about the hotel on TripAdvisor... Seriously bad move! I then got myself in the biggest panic as every other review seemed to be extremely negative and talked about getting their rooms broken into, getting their money/passports/etc. stolen, being mugged on the way home, prostitutes hanging around the front of the hotel, etc. etc. I wish I never read them! I get pretty nervous when leaving home without my Mum anyway, so having this to worry about too felt awful.. Having come back now though, I'm not too sure why I got so worked up, as I had an amazing time!

Whilst rather intoxicated at the 2wenties welcome meeting (hard to turn down free, unlimited jugs of cocktails) we bought a package deal. The package included a foam party, a carwash party, tickets to the Pirates Reloaded show (which was AMAZING to watch!), tickets to BCM, a pub crawl and a booze cruise. This made us really start to get in the mood and excited for the week ahead! Also as we were staying at Mallorca Rocks Hotel, we had access to their gigs and W.A.R. nights. We saw Baauer, Rizzle Kicks, Ms Dynamite, Mistajam, etc. live, which were all pretty good! All things we booked with the package were epic and so much fun! I have never drank so much alcohol in such a short space of time. 8 days in a row I was drinking... I blame the free bars for this (after midnight, until 6am)! Outside of the package deal, we went down to the beach, went on a banana boat, dipped in the hotel pool, spent hours and hours sunbathing, went for meals together, went on the bungee ball ride thing (not sure what it's called), went on a 'bucking bronco' ride (which I was totally awesome at) and went to Western Water Park. The water park didn't have many slides, but the ones that were there were a tad crazy! One was terrifyingly high, but I managed to push myself to do it (after having a panic about how high we were half way up the stairs to the top). I'm proud that I did it, but I doubt I'd ever do it again!

Being a pescitarian, I did not have much choice in what food I had to eat. Most days we just bought food from the Spar shop to eat at lunch times, and then we ate out for tea. For lunch, every single day, I had brown bread sandwiches filled with tinned tuna and sweetcorn, mixed up with mayonnaise and slices of cheese. By the end of the week, I was sick of the sight of tuna! Meals out had a bit more to pick from, but nothing that exciting... The majority of most menus were meat dishes. I tried calamari, which I'd never tried before, but that was about it. Everything else was things that I could easily find in England. There was so many takeaway places! We had a takeaway most nights (bad, I know.. But I mainly blame the alcohol for this).

All the food and stupid amounts of alcohol throughout the week made me gain a total of 5 and a half lbs! I was a bit upset by this, but wasn't expecting much else really, considering the amount I drank each night. I have now lost all of this weight since coming home, so all is good again, and I am back on track! Last year, after returning from our holiday to Turkey, it took me a seriously long time to get back on any kind of track... I didn't manage to get back to the weight I was before leaving for Turkey at all. But this year it's going a lot better. I also came back from Magaluf with the worst chest infection (I think I may have caught it on the plane as their were a lot of sick/coughing people on the plane back). It's pretty much gone now though, thank God!

Overall it was a really fun, fantastic holiday. The mega-hangover I suffered when I got back was well worth it. We made some really great friends whilst out there too, which is a bonus! Only tiny downside is that the tan I got is rather pathetic compared to tans I've had from previous holidays, despite frazzling in the sun for hours on end.. Oh well. I would definitely love to go somewhere like this again! I really don't know what I was worrying for. Note to self: Next time, don't judge holidays by just focusing on solely the negative reviews on TripAdvisor - go experience it for yourself and make your own opinion on it!

Happy 1st birthday & 100th post!

This post is a double whammy - yesterday was this blog's 1st birthday and this is also this blog's 100th post.

I have had so much fun writing for my blog for the past year. Making up and trying recipes to post about is probably my favourite bit of it all. I also love getting feedback and receiving comments on my posts - I don't get them very often but I appreciate them all and love seeing what my readers have to say. I look forward to continuing to write for this blog, and I hope the quality of my posts will continue to improve as time goes on. Thank you everyone for the support and views!

In this past year I haven't changed much regarding my weight, but my fitness levels have improved and I have gained a bit of lean muscle here and there. I have joined a gym this past year, even though last year I said I'd never join one because I can't stay committed enough to get my money's worth.. But I seem to have proved myself wrong. I'm finding it hard to go regularly each week now because of the new rules about parking at work (I've already received one hefty parking fine.. I don't want another), but I am still managing to go around 2-3 times a week. I've had quite a lot of hiccups lately, food-wise and weight-wise, but I refuse to give up. I'm still battling with my love for chocolate and the occasional pizza night with my family or boyfriend...  I need to try and fully regain my willpower again, as the low mood I've had lately has totally knocked it off course.

Happy Easter, by the way! I have a love-hate relationship with this day of the year.. I love chocolate, but I hate the amount of chocolate I tend to receive. I hate how Easter is all about chocolate.. I just wish Easter was about apples or bananas or something else. Then I wouldn't have to battle with my love for the dark stuff, which then puts me in another battle with my weight. Every year I try and eat all the chocolate I receive at Easter in the shortest time possible, so I just have to deal with one really bad gain, instead of a steady gain over a longer period of time. That way, once it's all gone, I can work on getting the weight off again without any chocolatey distractions (this, I know, is probably not a great technique or good advice to give (and I don't really advise you to do this), but it's what works best for me. If I have no chocolate around, I can't eat it).

Once again, thank you to all my readers, both regular and first timers. Your support continues to keep me inspired to keep this blog going! <3

Here's some stats about the blog, for anyone who's interested:

Pageviews last month: 980
Pageviews all time history: 11,594

Top 3 most visited posts of all time:
#1 = Lets get naked in the snow, for charity! with 570 pageviews
#2 = Graze guilt-free high tea! with 535 pageviews
#3 = Shakeaway tip! with 505 pageviews

Top 5 pageviews from countries from all time:
#1 = United Kingdom with 7858 pageviews
#2 = United States with 1581 pageviews
#3 = France with 493 pageviews
#4 = Russia with 216 pageviews
#5 = Canada with 178 pageviews

I need to set my priorities straight..

As some of you may know, I like a good night out (don't judge, please - I know this is a weightloss blog, but I do like to enjoy myself and let my hair down sometimes too). But last night may have changed my opinion a little.. It was... eventful? I went drinking in town with a few friends and predrank beforehand.. But I predrank WAY more than usual.. Why? I have no idea. Maybe I'm just an idiot. After spending the majority of the night with my head in a toilet, crying and eating a mountain of cheesy chips, I've come to the realisation, I cannot handle my alcohol. I like to think I can, but after last night I know I can't. This morning I found what was left in my bottle of Malibu, and I was disgusted in myself when I actually saw how much I got through - I'm lucky I didn't have to go to hospital. I am so ashamed and very embarrassed. I know we all make mistakes and "you only live once", but the events of last night are playing with my mind. I have spent nearly all day in town, killing time with the worst hangover to date, as I didn't feel sober enough to drive home this morning. I'm finally home and it's gone 4pm.. Almost a whole day wasted.

I have realised that I clearly have my priorities all wrong. Yes, socialising and having a dance with a few drinks down you is great fun, but for me it just happens way too often now. Each night I go out I seem to get through more and more alcohol, thinking I can handle it when I clearly can't. I need to start setting dates for my nights out way in advance, instead of deciding the day before that I'm going to go out, as that way I won't be going out once every week or two, and they'll be more spread out. I'll probably appreciate the nights out and time with my friends more, and I'm sure mine and my boyfriend's pockets will appreciate that too. I also need to stop predrinking, or buy seriously less alcohol for myself to drink if I do. Buying drinks in town is more expensive, which sucks, but it means I'll drink less as I won't be able to afford many drinks (I am extremely stingy with my money on nights out, no matter how intoxicated I am). So I'm now going to have to find something else to do on my Saturday nights.. No idea what though.

I want to spend more of my time doing more important things, like working a bit more and saving up some money, seeing family and friends (whilst sober), looking into going back to college in September, focusing on writing for my blog and the e-magazine, Pie, that I now write a little bit for each month and tackling my insomnia, anxiety and weight issues. Also I need to get my butt back down the gym and get back into a proper routine instead of going 1-2 times a week, whenever I can be bothered, and I need to start eating more healthily again, as I keep yo-yoing from eating really good one day to really naughty the next. I need to look after my body and stop treating it like a dustbin.

Hopefully, with support from my family (and hopefully friends too), and of course will power, I'll be able to stick to all of this. *Fingers crossed*, I can do this!

The beautiful city of Paris!

Well we're back from our short break in Paris. Other than feeling utterly exhausted every day (late nights and very early mornings) and having to sit on the floor of our last train home, I had a fantastic time! We saw so many beautiful sights. We went up the Eiffel Tower, went in the Notre Dame and went on an evening cruise down the river Seine. We also saw the Louvre, went shopping in the most amazing "mall" I've ever been in and visited a local art gallery. It was wonderful and I am so glad I went.

This was my first ever trip to Paris and I had never experienced a place like it. The traffic is manic - everyone drives like lunatics, as if they're all in some mad rush! They also drive on the opposite side of the road, which I kept forgetting, so I nearly got knocked over every 5 minutes! Even the cyclists ride crazily. We saw motorbikes mounting the pavements and swerving in and out of pedestrians and cars - always made my heart jump a bit, haha. Our hotel room wasn't that great (the double bed sunk in the middle and our toilet was boxed against a wall so we had to sit on it sideways, haha) but it was bearable.. We didn't spend much time in there anyway. The side alleys and the more unpopular places weren't that nice. There was a lot of tacky shops, mainly selling suits, and homeless people with their babies, cats and dogs were everywhere - it was very sad to see. There was also a lot of beggars and drunks shouting at everyone and waving wine bottles around. Not a pretty sight, but all of the landmarks were beautiful. I loved the Eiffel Tower at night - the twinkling lights looked so magical! My other favourite was the Notre Dame Cathedral. The architecture is incredible and so sophisticated. I loved the gargoyles all around the outside of the building - they reminded me a lot of a childhood film, 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'. The atmosphere inside was lovely too and I loved admiring the ceilings (I've always had a thing about pretty Church/Cathedral ceilings) and stain glass windows. I also really enjoyed the shopping! I bought a lovely black maxi dress, a Hard Rock Cafe shirt and a bright purple lipstick. I also bought a few little souvenirs back for my family.

I was a bit nervous about the French cuisine before arriving there, and I had a right to be. There was rarely a vegetarian option that wasn't a dessert. Thank God I eat fish, else I wouldn't be able to eat very much other than salads or brushetta. One waiter tried to persuade me that frog's legs were fish and not meat.. But I luckily didn't fall for it. I think I would have been slightly horrified to see them on my plate.  I took photos of all the foods I ate whilst there, so I could show you all! My favourite meal was probably the pastries we shared in the shopping mall. They were perfection - especially the pain au chocolate (they are my favourite, and I had one almost everyday for breakfast - as you can probably tell from the photos). I tried my first ever real, non-homemade macaroons too - they were lovely, especially the chocolate flavoured one. The price of drinks are absolutely crazy in Paris! A 45cl drink of diet coke (pictured below) cost us 6 Euros, so we rarely bought drinks, except water.

I was such a piglet whilst in Paris, and I managed to put on 2.5 lbs over the Paris trip and my birthday celebrations combined.. I'm surprised it's not more, to be honest.. But it's still bad. It's got me feeling a little down, but I am getting back on track now.

Coming up this week..

Lots of events happening for me this coming week!

For starters, it is my 20th birthday today - woohoo! Quite excited, but I feel really old! 20 feels like a massive leap from 19. I have no real plans for today other than to pop into town with my boyfriend and to enjoy a Domino's Pizza with all of my family in the evening. I know it's not a healthy meal, but it's my idea of a great birthday feast, yum yum!

Tomorrow, Jago and I are heading off to the beautiful city of Paris! We're staying for two nights. I am looking forward to it, but a bit scared about all the train transfers and having to be places, that we have no idea where they are, at certain times. Just hoping we are on time for everything. We have an extremely early start, as our first train leaves at 6:00am! The first day we're there we have a tour of the Eiffel Tower in the evening, which includes a cruise and coach trip too. The other two days we'll be exploring. Jago has been to France before, but this is a completely new country for me. I shall be taking hundreds of photos. I'm a bit nervous about what kind of food there's going to be over there, other than croissants.. I have no knowledge on French cuisine. To be honest, I have hardly any knowledge on the country as a whole - I know a couple of simple words and also a couple of the famous landmarks, but that's about as complex as it gets.. So there will be plenty for me to take in whilst over there.

The day after we come back from Paris, I am celebrating my birthday by having a drunken night with my friends. I do love a good night out! Got to enjoy them whilst I can 'cause, as they say, "you only live once". I won't be holding back on any naughty cocktails, as long as I don't have to pay for them, haha. The only drink I usually order myself is Malibu with Diet Coke - it's my absolute favourite.

I have an action packed week ahead of me and I am so excited for it all! I don't have high hopes with my healthy eating this week though. I'm not sure what the food's going to be like in France, but I want to experience the French cuisine without worrying about the calorie content in everything. I will try and not eat too much on the other days though.. But birthday cake could be an issue, depending on what type of cake I have been bought (if any)! I'll also try not to eat too much Domino's tonight, if I can help it. ;) I'm expecting a weight gain after this week, but I won't let it get me down too much. As long as I can still squeeze into my new outfit for my birthday night out, then I'll be okay. I'll just be extra good for the weeks after this week.

If I don't post much, or even at all, this week, this post explains why! Have a great week everybody. :)

Weight & measurements update.

My current weight: 8 stone 13.75 lbs (125.75lbs).

I've put on almost 1 lb since joining the gym at the beginning of last month.. I'm a little disappointed, but I'm really hoping it's because "muscle weighs more than fat". I guess I'll just have to wait and see the next few measurement/weight updates I do to see if there's any kind of pattern to it. I don't mind gaining weight as long as the measurements improve as a result of it.

Measurements updated (in inches / cms):

Bust = 29.75" / 75.5cm
Waist = 28.25" / 71.5cm
Hips = 32" / 81cm
Neck = 13" / 33cm
Left bingo-wing = 10" / 25.5cm
Right bingo-wing = 10" / 25.5cm
Left thunder-thigh = 21.75" / 55cm
Right thunder-thigh = 21.75" / 55cm

New measurements:

Shoulders = 21" / 53.5cm
Right forearm = 9.25" / 23.5cm
Left forearm = 9" / 22.5cm
Right calve = 13.5" / 34cm
Left calve = 13.75" / 35cm

A couple of these measurements have improved since the last time I posted which is great! But a couple have increased in size, which I'm a bit annoyed with. Although the "bingo-wings" have probably increased because they've now become a little muscular compared to before.

I have noticed, since starting the gym, I have slightly more defined muscles now, especially my biceps and calve muscles (still no six pack though, haha). I love showing family and friends the mini muscles I've developed - a bit weird, I know, but I thinks it's probably because I never thought I could do it and actually stick to attending a gym for longer than a week, and seeing little results is such a great feeling. I've been going to the gym for over a month now and I really feel great for it. Some days are harder than others, but I drag myself there no matter how I feel. :)

Sorry I haven't taken a photo for this update. I really can't get a good photo.. I need to find a long mirror I can place a bit further away from the edge of my bed. The place where I take my photos from at the moment is such an awkward, unflattering angle - makes me look like I've haven't improved since starting, when I know I have! I'll try and sort the mirror situation out when I have some money and time to do it.

I've joined a gym! Plus an update on me.

On the 9th January, this year, I joined a local gym. I was a bit hesitant at first, because the last time I joined a gym, I lost interest pretty quickly, wanted to quit, but ended up having to pay £26+ once a month for a whole year as it was a yearly contract.. But this gym is very different. It's only a 5 minute walk from where I work, so pretty convenient for me really. It's a rolling contract, rather than a yearly one - at any time I no longer want to go, for whatever reason, I can give one months notice and leave, with no further payments! Also it's the cheapest gym in town - £15 per month, plus two one-off payments of £20 - can't go wrong with that really. It's not too big or two small, it's well equipped, it's open 7 days a week, and the staff are incredibly welcoming, friendly and knowledgeable. It's a very laid back atmosphere, which I really like. It also offers lots of different classes per day (such as spin, pilates, zumba, self defence, boxing, etc.), which are free to MyGym members - so I've been taking full advantage of those since joining. On the whole it's one amazing gym that's great value for money (an absolute bargain in my eyes).

Since joining I have been to the gym about 4 times and I have really enjoyed myself. So far, I have tried classes such as spin, LBT (legs, bums & tums) and boxing basics - I enjoyed them all but my favourite is definitely spin! It's hard work but makes me feel really great afterwards. I spend a lot of my time in the gym on the crosstrainer, the treadclimber, the exercise bike, the rowing machine and sometimes the stepping machine. I went to lunch with my friend, Tom, and he helped me decide on some kind of routine to stick to, to begin with. He has also advised me on good foods to eat before/after workouts. Tom, along with my boyfriend and family, are supporting my decision to do this all the way, which is great and helps to keep me going! :)

Starting weight/measurements:

My starting weight for the gym is: 8 stone, 13 lbs.

I put on weight after my first week at the gym - I was NOT a happy bunny. But I didn't let it get to me too much and I've already lost all of the weight I'd put on! :)

My starting measurements for the gym are (in inches / cms):

Bust = 30" / 76.2cm

Waist = 28" / 71.1cm

Hips = 32" / 81.3cm

Neck = 13" / 33cm

Left bingo-wing = 9.7"/ 24.6cm

Right bingo-wing = 9.7" / 24.6cm

Left thunder-thigh = 21.5" / 54.6cm

Right thunder-thigh = 21.8" / 55.4cm

The majority of these measurements have improved ever so slightly since my last measurements (click here for post), but one has actually increased and one has stayed exactly the same. Finding this out was a little heart breaking as I worked so hard all year to get these measurements down.. But oh well. I will measure up again soon and update you all on any changes.

Starting/"before" photo:

I want to lose the bit of fat at the bottom of my tummy and I want my thighs to be a lot smaller, as they are a part of my body that I particularly dislike. I then want to tone up absolutely everything. I WILL acheive that bikini body this year! I've got this far with next-to-no exercise, so imagine what I can do if I introduce it into my healthy lifestyle (this thought is my main motivation)! I will post updates on how my body changes after a while of going.

An update on me:

What I haven't mentioned is this last week or so I have been feeling extremely weak and over-exhausted on such a low amount of calories (1200 per day, plus slightly more with exercise), since getting back into my calorie counting super strictly again at New Years. Well I had to go to the hospital for blood tests because I was feeling so bad and looking so ill and very pale. But I found out that my blood tests came back perfectly fine, and it's probably being caused by anxiety.

But before receiving my results, I had a chat with my spin instructor about my health, what I'm eating, my calorie intake, my sleeping pattern and such alike.. He advised me to up my calorie intake to at least 1500 per day (well he actually said he'd prefer me not to count them at all any more, but I just can't break the habit). He also said to turn my TV off at night to help me sleep as I should be getting at least 6 hours of sleep per night to be able to go to the gym (I usually sleep with the TV on and only get around 4-7 hours sleep a night). He also said to eat 5 meals a day rather than my usual 2-3, as my body will start to starve itself otherwise and I need the energy if I want to go to the gym regularly (I've attempted this change but I'm only managing around 3-4 meals most days). I also need to eat a meal, full of protein, within 1 hour after finishing any work out (this is the one step I'm struggling most with).

Since I've tried applied these changes, as much as I can, I have been feeling slightly more energetic than usual and I no longer look really ill and pasty all the time. I feel my body has a bit more power, to push myself further, when I go to the gym. I'm still counting calories religiously, but I have upped my daily allowance by 300kcal, from 1200 to 1500 (this has been extremely hard to get used to)! So hopefully making all of these small changes will help me get bigger and better results from the hard work I put in at the gym.

My New Year's resolutions.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, as I did. I had some fantastic company and received lots of lovely presents! 2012 literally flew by.. Before we know it, it'll be Christmas again! Happy New Year! I hope 2013 brings you and your families happiness. :)

As it's the beginning of a whole new year, it's time to set myself a New Years resolution!

Last year, my resolution was to start and stick to My Fitness Pal (a calorie counting app) to help me lose weight. It makes a massive change to be able to say I stuck to my resolution all year long! I used My Fitness Pal every single day, no matter how good or bad my calorie intake was (apart from one week, in May, I went to Turkey on holiday.. I couldn't get the internet to work on my phone). Of course I'm going to continue to use it, but it's now kind-of a habit, so it's not going to be a resolution of mine this year.


My personal resolutions for 2013 are:

- MAKE THIS YEAR MY THINNEST, HEALTHIEST AND FITTEST YEAR YET. (Basically lose weight, eat clean, get thin/toned).

- MAKE A BIGGER EFFORT TO MEET/CONTACT FAMILY AND FRIENDS MORE REGULARLY.


I have wasted no time and have thrown myself into my resolutions straight away! Today I stayed within my calories - (I know it's naughty, but I had no breakfast today.. I've been nursing a rather bad hangover from the celebrations the night before) noodles for lunch, smoked fish with boiled veg and sweet potato mash (all seasoned with lime juice) for tea and flavoured popcorn, one of my Graze punnets and some black grapes as little snacks throughout the day - all very delicious! Also I have written a letter to send to my Granny who lives abroad. We do contact each other, but not always very regularly. So I'm working on that already. :)

Good luck with any New Years resolutions you've set yourself. Feel free to share your resolutions - I'd love to hear some of them!

Oh, and just in case any one was wondering, I did gain a bit of weight over the festive season. In total, I gained 4 lbs. Not great, but nowhere near as horrendous as I was expecting, considering some of the foods I was eating (mainly chocolate)! It'll come back off easily, I'm sure. :)

Merry Christmas everyone!

"T'is the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la, la la la laaaa!"

Today's the day! It's finally here. How exciting?! :D

I'm a little nervous about how much I might pig out on (any dieter would be).. I don't intend to pig out, but Christmas Day is always so hard compared to every other day in the festive period.. With the sweet, homemade breakfast, the big lunch roast dinner with homemade dessert for afterwards, the buffet-style tea and alcohol flowing throughout - it's going to be difficult! But I won't not let myself enjoy it all.. If I want something, I'll have it. But I just won't go stupid and stuff my face to the point where I'll feel I'll need a fork lift to move me afterwards! Then tomorrow, I shall start a fresh. I can't wait for New Year, as it always helps me get back to my healthy eating, a bit more strictly, and gets me motivated to lose more weight!

I haven't been feeling overly festive this past week.. Partially because of family stuff and also because I've been working a ridiculous amount of overtime. But I'm sure when the morning comes, I'll feel just as excited as I use to when I was a child! The pile of presents downstairs is huge, under our twinkling, little Christmas tree. I can't wait to hand out the presents I've bought everyone! Giving can be such a great feeling. :)

By the way, I don't normally stay up until 3am on the computer Christmas morning.. I am writing this in the middle of the night because I'm currently in the middle of baking my family a surprise Christmas Day breakfast, of banana baked oatmeal (the smell is lingering through the house and it smells delicious, mmmm!). I hope they all enjoy it. I seem to be the baking fairy in my home - I always like baking in the middle of the night as a surprise for everyone the next day, especially on people's birthdays!

I wish all of you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas! I hope you all get what you wished for. I'll write soon. :)

Let the festive countdown begin!

Christmas lights decorate the streets of Salisbury (taken 6:30am today)!

Happy 1st day of December everybody! Only 24 more days until Christmas! And only 30 more days until New Years Eve - it's crazy how fast this year has flown by!

Being a dieter/calorie counter is a struggle at times, but I find December is the most difficult month of the year. There are so many temptations everywhere you look! Scrummy Christmas drinks in coffee shops, chocolate and cake offers everywhere you look in supermarkets, advent calenders to open throughout the month (I've got my Mars Bar advent calender!) and of course hundreds of alcohol and parties - and hardly any of it's low kcal, boohoo! This can all be a bit too much for someone who has been minding what they eat for so long.. But stay strong! I'm not saying don't indulge at all, as it's Christmas - you can't forbid yourself a few treats around Christmas time (mince pies are a massive weakness of mine, this time of the year), it's just not natural! I'm just saying don't over-do it, as when you do your dreaded after Christmas/New Years weigh in, you will kick yourself! Everyone's bound to put on a few pounds though - I know I will, but you don't want to be setting yourself back too much. But even if you did, don't beat yourself up too much about it. Use it as the push you need to get back into the dieting game! Maybe even make it a New Years resolution to lose the weight plus more?

I have some great thoughts for festive posts in my noggin that I'm hoping to share with you all over the course of this wonderful, wintery month, so keep your eyes peeled! First one should be posted on Monday (if all goes to plan)! :)

Been a naughty girl..

I'm sorry for not posting as often as I usually do.. This last week has been a hard one! I've slipped up, pretty badly.. Working so much lately (had a 13.5 hour shift Saturday), a friend's 21st birthday party (involving a lot of alcohol and a massive hangover), 2 days at Alton Towers theme park (with a 4 hour drive each way) and a night at a hotel - sticking within my calories for each day has been pretty much unrealistic.

Normally I kind of enjoy having a naughty meal/snack or two for a change from all the healthy eating.. But for some reason I haven't enjoyed any of it really. After eating all this rubbish, I have been really desperate to just dig into loads and loads of healthy veggies! I feel so fat, bloated and tired after eating so badly for just under a week.. But now I'm home, with nothing but work in my way, and I can eat absolutely anything I want - yaaay!

I am expecting to put on about half a stone from all the rubbish I've ate - a fish burger, vegetable crisps, munchies, a cookie, chips, pizza/pasta/salad buffet, alcohol (lots of it), a sandwich, etc.! Very ashamed of myself and very anxious about weighing myself tomorrow. But I'm only human and can't beat myself up too much about it. What's done is done - I've got to face the consequences and guilt of my bad choices, suck it up and start a fresh. Next week I will lose whatever weight I've put on this week, for sure! :)

Before/after - baggy trousers!

Look at those trousers! I was rummaging through my wardrobe last week and came across my first pair of work trousers, from when I first started my job back in 2009. They are a size 16, and they use to fit me perfectly! And of course, I tried them on to see the difference between then and now, and just.. wow! Couldn't believe how big they were! They drop to my ankles if I don't hold them up myself. I am now size 8-10 (in the majority of shops). Just crazy. I thought I'd share this with you all! I love comparing my photos and clothes from before and now - you never quite realise how much different you look until it's in front of you.

If anyone has any before/after photos, I'd love to see them!

An update on me!

I've noticed that I seem to write a lot of posts surrounding the food I make and recipes I do, and not very many posts actually talking about myself. So here's a small update on myself for you all, if anyone's interested:

My weight loss has been very slow lately.. For the last 3 weeks I have stayed exactly the same weight (which is currently 127lbs.. Yeah I know, I'm huge and it's bad that I'm still struggling to get back down to the weight I was before I went abroad in May... Shame on me. :( ). I have been eating healthily most meals but then I normally struggle at tea time or late in the evening.. I have somehow put my self under an unnecessary amount of stress (which does not help my eating one bit!), over something so small and I am not sleeping very well at all lately.. Getting an average of 5 hours of sleep a night, give or take a bit. Not good! Also I had the worst thing happened to me Sunday night.. I was looking in the mirror whilst removing my make-up and I looked up at myself and I seriously had a flashback to back when I was 176lbs - not even lying.. I didn't even know flashbacks were possible, but apparently they are. I could see it in my face. I looked like who I use to be, and not who I am. I burst out crying and barely slept, I just sat up in my bed, awake for hours. It was absolutely horrible and I hope it does not happen to often.. :(

But anyway, moving on..

The unnecessary stress is over something that has happened lately. And that is that my job hunting! It has been a success! As of yesterday, I am now a "partner" in Starbucks! Yaaaay! This is now my 2nd job, as I already work part-time in a supermarket. So I am now very busy throughout the week. The new job is fun, but very hectic and quite stressful, as I'm currently learning and trying to remember all the codes, drink names, sizes, how to make the drinks, etc. etc.. It's veeery different to the supermarket job. And as well as these 2 jobs, I'm hoping to go back to college in September to do the 2nd year of the Painting and Decorating course I did. Hopefully I'll cope okay, but if not I'll have to make a tough decision and drop something - no idea what it'll be though, but hopefully it won't come to that.

I'm going on holiday with my family and boyfriend on the 18th of this month! Exciting! We're not going abroad or anything.. We're going to Cornwall (I think) for a week in a big farm house. Which will be nice, and different! So don't expect any posts that week, as I'll be busy relaxing or going on a bike ride or something! Haha. :)

So yeah, there's a little update on my busy, busy life at the moment. I'm surprised I have even had the time write this post today. I've just finished a shift at Starbucks and I'm now just killing some time until my shift at the other job starts! *yawn*

I'm still here!

I apologise for the lack of posts lately - I have literally had the busiest week I've had in forever (hence why I am currently writing this off of my iPhone)! This is just an update post to let you know what I have been up to in the past week!

Still been unsuccessful in the job hunting.. But I have managed to get some overtime at work for the first time in about 4 weeks! So this week I'm working 27ish hours, instead of my regular 13..

I met up with my friend at the beginning of the week for lunch. On Wednesday I went to the Olympic Torch event at Hudson's Field where I had a cheeky pint and a little bag of pick & mix (as the food there was horrible). We did do a lot of dancing there though! Then we went straight from there to the fire garden event at Stonehenge, where I walked my butt off and took some lovely photos. I went out for two meals, one at The Harvester and one at Strada, on Thursday with a birthday party that same night, which involved a lot of drinking and dancing! Then on Friday I met up with my boyfriend for lunch, I worked and then I went to a little get together with a few work friends which also involved a fair bit of alcohol. Then yesterday (Saturday) I worked 8 hours and afterwards I went into town to celebrate a friends birthday - dressed as a leopard! Which also involved many, many drinks. I have never drank so much in such a short space of time! Feeling very fragile today. Today we have travelled to visit family, which involves a lot of food.

Considering all of the eating and drinking I have done this week I have only put on 3lb (I was expecting to put on a couple more than this to be fair) - which will hopefully come off easily next week once all this socialising calms down bit - I've never felt so popular, hahaha. Here's some photos from throughout the week: