Tuesday 7 August 2012

An update on me!

I've noticed that I seem to write a lot of posts surrounding the food I make and recipes I do, and not very many posts actually talking about myself. So here's a small update on myself for you all, if anyone's interested:

My weight loss has been very slow lately.. For the last 3 weeks I have stayed exactly the same weight (which is currently 127lbs.. Yeah I know, I'm huge and it's bad that I'm still struggling to get back down to the weight I was before I went abroad in May... Shame on me. :( ). I have been eating healthily most meals but then I normally struggle at tea time or late in the evening.. I have somehow put my self under an unnecessary amount of stress (which does not help my eating one bit!), over something so small and I am not sleeping very well at all lately.. Getting an average of 5 hours of sleep a night, give or take a bit. Not good! Also I had the worst thing happened to me Sunday night.. I was looking in the mirror whilst removing my make-up and I looked up at myself and I seriously had a flashback to back when I was 176lbs - not even lying.. I didn't even know flashbacks were possible, but apparently they are. I could see it in my face. I looked like who I use to be, and not who I am. I burst out crying and barely slept, I just sat up in my bed, awake for hours. It was absolutely horrible and I hope it does not happen to often.. :(

But anyway, moving on..

The unnecessary stress is over something that has happened lately. And that is that my job hunting! It has been a success! As of yesterday, I am now a "partner" in Starbucks! Yaaaay! This is now my 2nd job, as I already work part-time in a supermarket. So I am now very busy throughout the week. The new job is fun, but very hectic and quite stressful, as I'm currently learning and trying to remember all the codes, drink names, sizes, how to make the drinks, etc. etc.. It's veeery different to the supermarket job. And as well as these 2 jobs, I'm hoping to go back to college in September to do the 2nd year of the Painting and Decorating course I did. Hopefully I'll cope okay, but if not I'll have to make a tough decision and drop something - no idea what it'll be though, but hopefully it won't come to that.

I'm going on holiday with my family and boyfriend on the 18th of this month! Exciting! We're not going abroad or anything.. We're going to Cornwall (I think) for a week in a big farm house. Which will be nice, and different! So don't expect any posts that week, as I'll be busy relaxing or going on a bike ride or something! Haha. :)

So yeah, there's a little update on my busy, busy life at the moment. I'm surprised I have even had the time write this post today. I've just finished a shift at Starbucks and I'm now just killing some time until my shift at the other job starts! *yawn*

2 comments:

  1. 127lbs... huge?! Are you actually serious? Look I'm not being funny but your opinions of yourself bring everyone who's bigger than you (but previously happy with themselves) down all the time. That's hardly fair. Yeah I'm sure you'll quote "free speech" and blah blah blah, and it's good that you want to get fit, but calling yourself fat when you're clearly not is nothing more than attention seeking and upsets others. Peace.

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    1. When saying that I meant more along the lines of huge-er than my smallest.. As I am now 7 lbs heavier than before.. And I am just ashamed of myself. I often see the "old me" - like flashbacks - when I look in the mirror, hence why I feel huge. It wasn't said to cause offence. If you or anyone are of heavier weight and happy with yourself and have self-confidence, then I'm happy for you, maybe even a little jealous.. I would love to experience it. It's what I'm aiming to feel like.. I have never felt good in my own skin and I've never felt what it's like to love myself just how I am, mainly because of my weight. Sorry, but until I am happy with how I look I will continue to feel this way about myself.

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